Barrenjoey Dock
Once upon a time, I had a fiance, and then I had an ex-fiance, and now I have a friend. A really good-looking friend with tight abs and a cute butt, but a friend nonetheless.
He proposed to me ten years ago at the hotel Barrenjoey House in Sydney's Northern Beaches, and, because I am a sucker for punishment, I decided to stay there again for a few days while I am here in Australia. It's the first time I have returned and although I had bleated on about how I would be fine, he drove up here to meet me for dinner on Wednesday night, just in case the trip had become all too painful and I was trying to hang myself with my computer power cable (it happens).
In our old room - oh yes, I even stayed in the very room he proposed in.....that's how much I love to stick a knife in my own heart - there is a black and white picture of Barrenjoey dock which I spent many hours recreating on this trip. When facing old demons I find it really helps to have something to keep you busy.
People like to say that it's the things you didn't do that you regret but I can't help thinking there is some cherry picking going on. I do not, for example, regret not emmigrating to Canada in 1998 when I had the chance, and committing myself to a lifetime of sub-zero winters, saturday nights spent watching ice hockey and bad dress sense. And I do not regret not giving up my job to go to live with a man who I was never in love with, in a cabin in France - a country I have never liked - to live the life of a kept woman which I have never much fancied, although I am embarrassed to admit I gave it serious consideration when he asked (I have father issues).
But do I regret not getting married and settling in Australia?
That would be telling.
He proposed to me ten years ago at the hotel Barrenjoey House in Sydney's Northern Beaches, and, because I am a sucker for punishment, I decided to stay there again for a few days while I am here in Australia. It's the first time I have returned and although I had bleated on about how I would be fine, he drove up here to meet me for dinner on Wednesday night, just in case the trip had become all too painful and I was trying to hang myself with my computer power cable (it happens).
In our old room - oh yes, I even stayed in the very room he proposed in.....that's how much I love to stick a knife in my own heart - there is a black and white picture of Barrenjoey dock which I spent many hours recreating on this trip. When facing old demons I find it really helps to have something to keep you busy.
People like to say that it's the things you didn't do that you regret but I can't help thinking there is some cherry picking going on. I do not, for example, regret not emmigrating to Canada in 1998 when I had the chance, and committing myself to a lifetime of sub-zero winters, saturday nights spent watching ice hockey and bad dress sense. And I do not regret not giving up my job to go to live with a man who I was never in love with, in a cabin in France - a country I have never liked - to live the life of a kept woman which I have never much fancied, although I am embarrassed to admit I gave it serious consideration when he asked (I have father issues).
But do I regret not getting married and settling in Australia?
That would be telling.
The Wardrobe in Room 3
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